The Dopamine Flux

Living A Full Life With Mental Health Issues

I am beyond the edge of having a busy life. There was a time when I had things going on. Then there was a time that I had a lot of things going on. Then there’s now, where I don’t have free time anymore, if any. (Oh, and here’s me wanting a child 😑).

I draw conclusions on my present and future life based off my past. When I was very sick I had absolutely nothing going on in my life. I hung around people that didn’t care about me, only to have someone around. It really got to that point. I had mini things I’d do around the house. Which in retrospect, wasn’t really anything at all. My day consisted of many small activities. I had to build out a routine on paper, or on my phone, of the miniature activities I did in order to have a semi routine.

With that said, the fact I’m even able to take on what I take on now is surprising, but it’s also pretty darn tiring.

Where do I start? My weird work schedule every week? My side career opportunities? My hobbies? My life involving my future family? My friends? Wait, what social life? Where is that social life I always told myself I would get started on? I don’t have time for it now that I am actually able to sustain one! Weird how that happens, right? Life.

And to say the least, with all the business emails I have sent out in the past three weeks, and I haven’t received but ONE response: blegh! 😐

Hey, [insert emojis to implicate the fact that I keep running at a million miles per hour, and my body can’t catch up with my mind anymore]: 🥱🤯😖. There.

So, here I am, lying down, knowing I won’t get any emails until Monday.

In the mean time, please enjoy the front cover of this 1976 issue of El Excentrico with my late Grandfather pictured on the front. His interview was on the inside, but the picture of that was poorly taken.


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