The Dopamine Flux

Living A Full Life With Mental Health Issues

I have finished my video pitch for my TEDx nomination. So, just have to wait til mid to late January to see if I’ve been chosen for 2020.

Thanksgiving was good, at max. I didn’t realize how drained people made me. I’ve been all about people for a couple or years now, growing out of my introvertedness. Thanksgiving really took the cake, though. I was cranky by the end of the day. And in between that, and my medication change, things have been somewhat rocky. I’m hopeful it will be ok, though.

I don’t think I’ll be going to that poetry jam, as me and fiance’s schedule conflicts on that day. Super bummed, but there will be other events like it. In the mean time, I’ll be working on the Brooklyn Art Library Project instead.

I’m not at my best of moods today, and I suspect I won’t be all week until things slow down. But if i get picked for TEDx i shouldn’t expect things to slow down at all for the next year. Which isn’t bad, but isn’t good either. Not for my mental health.

Things are getting somewhat better, in general. It’s slowing down, but I cant help but feel a general depression coming over me. A pretty bad one. I cant quite pinpoint what exactly is going on, but I do know some of this is fear, and some of this is, just plain sadness about my past. I tell many people I am doing things with someone in mind. People tell me I need to do things for myself. Though, they dont understand that dealing with depression, you need an anchor into this world to keep you here (speaking in a certain way for certain feelings). Luckily, even though I am not that far deep in my feelings, I do feel the need to keep my spirit anchored here by doing all that I do for my Dad.

I read someone posted about being busy and staying busy all the time is a trauma-based reaction. I didn’t know that. I know for me, partially, I was always told by my mother and a few other people that I don’t have a life and that I need to get one, and she still says that to this day. My sister rarely calls her, but i call her every few days now. So she seems to think i have all this free time. When in reality, I don’t, I just want her to know that I’m here for her and thinking about her. To her, though, it means I have too much free time. Which is very hurtful to me.

P.S. Lil’ Bub passed away on December 1st, 2019. RIP Lil Bub. I love you ❤

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

Hey guys,

This is a catch-up week for me. I’ve been procrastinating on things I should be doing, for two weeks, as it is.

With that said, I will share some pictures of the past week, that I took.


Hanging out with the pets at our new place! This is Xena.
My Dad saw a deer in his yard the other day! 🦌
My Fiancé, who was very hooked on a netflix movie that night.
I gave my Fiancé OddFuture socks. For those familiar with Tyler, the Creator. I never wore them. He seems to like them. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Also, I have come across a game, well multiple games, that have mental health related issues the main focus of the game. All of them I have found on the Nintendo Switch. Which is surprising to me, and I’ve become immediately obsessed with the Switch because of this. It’s called “Fractured Minds”. Each level in the game is a different symptom of mental illness.

Here’s a link to learn more about the game. I believe it’s $2.99 in the Nintendo eShop, where it can only be found. It’s a digital game. Check it out!

Fractured Minds

ETA: It looks like it may also be on PC, and some other platforms, as well.

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

Hey guys!

I’ve been working really hard with everything going on, and once again I am swamped by activities and plans I have over the next month.

But, I got nominated to do a Ted Talk. I have to send a video pitch in soon, and see what they say. Im not officially chosen! It’s a Tedx, so not a main stage TED talk. Which is awesome, already! I believe I have a very valuable IDEA WORTH SPREADING! Which is the point of it all.

I also have an upcoming activity. I have decided to go to a local poetry jam in town. So I am really excited about that, and gathering the skills I need to speak in front of others! And hopefully, sometime soon, I can take a break from everything and go on vacation! That is to be discussed, though. Between all that fun stuff, I have therapy and doctor appointments, which I hope I can get my stress settled, soon.

You know, the funny thing about stress is, its overwhelming and it can hurt us, in so many ways. The thing is, it’s the adrenaline rush you get from the deadline and eventually completing those things, that drive you as an individual. If you are able to balance your stressful days with freetime, the available adrenaline and dopamine you receive from the healthy and unhealthy stress, builds you as a person. It becomes the driving sensation you’ve always needed. As many sit back on facebook or the like, you have these accomplishments, whether big or small in your world, and you will eventually feel relief from it all, with a sense of a accomplishment and the ability you’ve obtained.

Enjoy this shot of my pets!

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

I finished my certification training! I feel like I passed with flying colors, but we shall see in a couple of weeks or so.

Had a good, but extremely hectic past week. Which explains why I missed the monday blog post yesterday. Training, plus trying to finish moving into my new apartment. I absolutely love this place, though!

Went with my hero, my Dad, out on the town in the downtown area near here. Bought coffee from a local coffee shop (I’m trying to get away from Folger’s!), visited some unique stores, and saw amazing art along the way. (Peep the art mural we saw, above!)

I desperately need rest with how much I’m going, and going, these days. Rest is much needed, for sure! And I hope to get in on that, soon.

Another announcement I have, is I will be on another podcast tomorrow, out of Minnesota. Not sure when it will posted, but I will let you guys know. So stay tuned!

Thanks for reading! And until next time!


So, the podcast is officially up! I had an amazing host, River T, out of Britain. There were very good questions posed and I cannot wait to share with you guys! Here is the link to it: Opening Up With River T – Ep. 11.

I actually have a second podcast with someone else in a couple of weeks. So stay tuned for that, too.

With all the busy of moving out, moving the pets to a new place, buying furniture, and work, I have to be honest, I have not been able to work on anything with my book. I hate to further delay it, but I’m trying to get into the swing of things that have changed recently. I will be getting to the nitty-gritty with the book, though, as much as I can. Going back to where it all started, and I am really happy to be able share that with you guys!

Also, I submitted my story to The Mighty. Which is a very good website to connect with others that may be dealing with things you can relate to. Both physical and mental health related issues, as well as, life issues.

Here is the link to that story: How Schizoaffective Disorder Took Over My Life… And How I Reclaimed It.

I hope you guys are well. Enjoy this picture of my Fiance with all our pets.

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

Hey guys!

I wrote into The Mighty. Which is a health website for both physical and mental health issues, as well as a forum/community. I sent my story in about the time I was sick with psychosis. I didn’t think much would come from it, because the submit page said they can’t get a chance to read all submissions. Lo and behold, I get an email a few days later saying they want to publish my story and want to make me a regular contributing writer for The Mighty.

So, that’s awesome news! To read my article about how Schizoaffective took over my life, and a bit of my journey to recovery, CLICK HERE!

Also, I will be on River T’s podcast Opening Up With River T, tomorrow, October 29th, 2019. I am not sure when the podcast will be aired. I will definitely let you know when, come next Monday. So, very exciting!

His Twitter tag is: @RiverT1999.

I will update next monday on more that’s going on. So stay tuned!

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

Hey guys!

I am in the process of moving, so I do apologize for skipping a week, as I’ve been so busy. I’m totally ready to get out of here and into a bigger place. I went to IKEA, as you can see above (that is my fiance in the photo), and I’m so ready to decorate my new place and have a theme. I’m considering putting a Salvador Dali or Rene Magritte painting on my walls to give the place a quirky feel. What do you think?

Also, I will be on a couple of podcasts (as it is planned atm), speaking about my story, and how I’ve come to be where I am now in my life. Very excited for you guys to see them. I will link them when they are posted. So stay tuned for that!

I have finally mustered up some time and will be continuing to work on my book about my story. That is a really long project in the making. I’m not even sure when it will be finished.

With all that said, I was speaking to my sister last night. She asked me if I was enjoying my job as a Peer Support Specialist. I told her that it was not just the best job ever, but the ability to see everyone’s personality, hear their stories, and to see what everyone is about and how they deal with society in their own ways, is beyond fulfilling to me. I honestly believe I was made to be in this position and made to help others, as well as, turn the tide and change the conversation about mental health and how we treat those dealing with severe mental illness.

Thanks, guys!

Thanks for reading! And until next time!


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