Tag Archives: Health

Excited, Yet Overwhelmed


Hey guys!

I’m excited to say that I am partaking in an art project out of New York. It’s called the Brooklyn Art Project. You buy a sketchbook from them, it’s already decked out with a barcode and instructions. You send it back to them, and they put it on file for other people to look at. You can have it digitized, too, so others can see your art online. They even text/email you each time your sketchbook is viewed! So exciting! I can’t wait to fill it out and send it back.

I am still working on that self-care guide. Life is busier for me than it ever has been, and I don’t get a chance to do things I’d like to do more often. Which sucks, but so many good things are coming my way, and I’m super excited about it.

This is also a really hard time for me, because of all the stuff going on. I’ve gotten a wake-up call in the past week about my physical health, and my mental health has been tested to the max. I had a manic episode yesterday. Which I believe was due to a prednisone shot I received for back pain. Apparently, prednisone causes mood changes! I did not know that. I have so many things to do regarding my physical health, and it’s really overwhelming for me.

I hope you guys don’t mind me taking it a bit slow, but I surely will get everything done. And then more stuff will pop up! Such is life, right?

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

I Got Hired For A Job In Mental Health


Yes! You heard it right!

I got hired as a Peer Support Specialist in my county. Actually, I’m one of the first in my county.

I’m not sure if others will be hired the same date I will be, but I’m sure there’s more to be hired eventually. I can officially check off “Getting A Job” on my goal list.

I was super, super stoked about this, and actually waited to tell you guys, because I felt like if I got it, it would be very special. Although, if I didn’t get it, it would also be very saddening, especially if I told everyone. It took me 3 months total, with 2 interviews, to get hired. So I was really itching to say something the entire time!

I had applied to maybe 20 jobs before I got this one, and I didn’t really want any of them, but I needed more income than I was receiving to live. I was willing to take a lot of jobs, basically.

This is only the beginning of a dream for me. Or, perhaps it’s in the middle, as I got engaged not too many months ago, along with other good things.

I apologize for not being active. I was really stressed out all month. Fiance’s father died, we’ve been having financial issues, and the relationship was suffering a bit, amongst other things.

But here I am! Here’s to a new path going forward! 🍾🥂🍻

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

Does It Ever End?


The financial situation is just getting worse.

I’m really holding out on getting a proper job. I’m not sure why completely. My health isn’t up to par enough to do it. That’s probably why, honestly.

I feel like we can get through this, but in the meantime I will be going back to instacart for awhile to make some extra cash.

Enjoy this picture of Thor looking out the window. I took him to the dog park today. I’ve been exercising a lot more, and slowly eating better.

This Went Left


We can’t afford to live where we are living anymore, and it’s really putting me in the deep end, emotionally.

I’ve been very depressed, procrastinating, and letting everything fall to the wayside. This is hitting home way too much.

My Love and I may have to move back in with our parents (separately), after just recently getting engaged. We can’t afford a home, another apartment, or even the same apartment. We are spending $719 here, plus all bills separately from that. We can’t seem to make it on his income, plus my disability income.

We are lost and just looking for a miracle.

Please bear with me for the moment being.

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

Depression At New Depths


I was very sick for about 3-4 years in my early twenties. I went off the grid and deleted every single social media I had.

I’m so close to doing that again. While I may not actually do that, I don’t feel welcome just about anywhere in life. My so called friends haven’t called me. I have tried to call them and nothing. Just one. Just one person has answered my phone call/text.

My depression has entered a new stage. It’s at it’s very depths. The amount of loneliness, fear, and sadness I feel is so beyond me. I haven’t felt this way since I was 24, re-entering into the social media world, coming from nothing.

This is probably a relapse of some sort. I’ve probably been in it for some time now.

My relationship with My Love is rocky. Superficial, at best, in my opinion. My relationship with my friends is very nil. I understand people have things going on, but what does it cost to send just a “how are you?” over text. Nothing. And I still get nothing from them. Only one person. But even then I had to reach out. People say “reach out to me, i’m always here.” Fuck off. You know that’s the biggest lie ever. If I can’t reach you numerous times, then that’s a lie!

My relationship with my parents is so bad. At least with my mom. I mean, my mom just goes on about how im not taking care of my weight/health. Either that, or about my inability to save money. I tell her everyday things to prove to her that i’m making money. It’s never enough. My dad, well, i feel so disconnected with him. If I thought I felt disconnected with him when he’s working all day and i’m living with him… then NOW I feel disconnected even more when I’m not living with him.

I’ve never felt more estranged from the world than I do right now, and it’s the lowest feeling i’ve ever felt.

On top of all that, I’m estranged from God, and i could just about die.

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

Xena Update


We’ve been taking care of Xena, our new pup, this whole week. 24/7 care for her.

She finally is starting to eat a little bit on her own. She’s eating treats on her own, pupperoni snacks. She is still drinking water, which is good, too.

I need to call the vet and let them know her update/progress. I think they will be happy. In the beginning, they talked like they wanted to put her down. I even asked My Love if we needed to give her back to the shelter. My Love didn’t give up on her. She has made a lot of progress, but there’s still a lot more progress to be made.

Stay Tuned!

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

Update 2/18/2019


My Love has been sick with possibly pneumonia. We took him to the doctor. He has no insurance, so he didn’t get shots, but the doctor put him on 4 medications. We will see what happens. Even with GoodRx it was still 94 dollars! I paid it. His mom is supposed to pay me back.

So, i’ve been absent from a lot of social media. I haven’t got back to working, although, I applied to 3 jobs recently this past week. I’m so over delivery jobs, because I hate driving. I’m ready to work from home. We are so broke, it’s not even funny. I had to tell the pharmacist to use GoodRx and tell them we are low income.

It’s been a mess guys. I’ll be back soon!

Thanks for reading! And until next time!

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